I made a (now obvious) realization the other day regarding uncertainty work performance. When someone doesn't know what they will be doing 2-3 months in the future, their ability to work effectively on projects with a longer timeline is severely diminished. So is the case with me right now.

I am currently very far into the interview process at Apple. For this job alone, I have been thru three interviews over the past 4 weeks; each one being "very positive". I got word last week on thursday that they were "working on the paperwork [to make me an offer]", and that they would "make it official in a few days". Then a few hours later, I hear back that the VP for the department would like to see me. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

This is all very bad for me. I don't know where I will be in 2 months, but I'm working on designing a system that would take my attention for the next 6-9 months. When I started interviewing at Apple, I tried to make it clear that this is exactly the position that I wanted to avoid being in... But here I am. And I can't do a damn thing about it.

To make matters worse, every day I feel more and more like an traitor for interviewing at Apple. Crystal Dynamics is such a wonderful company, but it just isn't where I see my career going.